I had a choice but I had no voice
Updated: Mar 19
August 5, 2001.
-"Why don't you just let go and forget?"
For me the aswer is simple. I can never let go, because every time I see my reflection in the mirror, I am reminded of that day that changed my life forever.
But on days when I feel as if everything is going wrong, on days when I am struggling, on days that I forget the fight I gave to be where I am today, I need that reminder. When I catch a glimpse of my self in the mirror I am reminded of what I lost. It's not my beauty that I lost, it's not my healthy skin, it's not the full range of movements in my hands, it's not even years off my youth.
I lost my friends.
And I don't want them to be forgotten.
This is why I allow my self to be reminded and this is the reason I remind other people the results of unsafe driving. I don't want anyone to lose someone they love to an accident that is preventable.
I often wonder if what I am feeling is survivor's guilt. And maybe it is!
I had a sense of deep guilt for surviving our horrific accident. The man behind the wheel was an aggresive driver. I could see the signs but I couldn't recognize them. I trusted him like I trusted every other driver behind a steering wheel. I never questioned my safety. Even on that day, seeing his aggressive behavior, tailgating and overtaking other vehicles, I only spoke once. I asked him to slow down but I didn't demand it. I know I was wrong to trust him and the results of our accident, the reminder of my reflection in the mirror, prove how wrong I was.
I had a choice that day but I had no voice to demand my safety.
To this day, I am grieving and still mourning for the loss of my friends but I try to do it in a meaningful way. Raising road safety awareness is a meaningful way to honor their memory and possibly impact in a positive way the life of others.
Recognize the signs of unsafe driving and demand your safety before it is too late.
We have a choice and we have a voice!
My latest project to raise awareness on the importance of road safety is a podcast called Crash Victim Life Survivor. The last episode of season one went live 2 days before my 20th road accident anniversary. It has been an interesting ride so far. I learned a lot through the stories that my guests shared with me. I am looking forward to launching season two in the future.
In memory of my dear friends Sotiri and Effie.